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Ignominy on the Interwebnet

The Apple-Picker

15:58 / 13.12.02

I've been bothered by something for awhile: the last time I saw my sister, over the Thanksgiving holiday, my family was discussing something that related to the No Smoking NYC thread. I referred to the discussion, marking it as something that had taken place on the net--and she shot a quick glance to her boyfriend, letting a little snicker escape. A quick zot of shame bolted through my body, and I was silenced.

So I guess my questions are: am I right to be shamed? Is there something incredibly loserish--not just nerdy--about referring to conversations you've had online? Or is my sister just being a big meanie?

MJ-12

16:18 / 13.12.02

Yes, you should be ashamed. Of your sister.

Linus Dunce

17:05 / 13.12.02

I think it's related to the anti-intellectualism that's popped up recently in another thread. While I'm not saying your sister is anti-intellectual or that, Barbelith excluded of course, the web is a cornucopia of of intellectual discourse, I think the net is still seen as a little arcane. E-mails aren't considered "real" letters, on-line gaming isn't seen as "really" playing with someone.

There is also the nerdy stereotype of net users -- you hang out on a board because you have no friends, you have cyber sex because you don't get any in real life, etc. Which, like all stereotypes, is probably untrue and at the same time difficult to disprove.

You could try to turn her on by finding a thread somewhere on her pet subject. But if the seed doesn't take, what the hey. You enjoy it, and it's her loss.

All the same, I usually chicken out by prefacing verbal web quotes with, "some people think," or "a friend of mine said." :-)

Cat Chant

18:21 / 13.12.02

I find the phrase "my imaginary friends" very useful in this context.

Lurid Archive

18:31 / 13.12.02

Do you also have more precise terminology to pin down which particular subsection of imaginary friends you might be referring to?

Char Aina

19:04 / 13.12.02

say it with pride, and in a few years we will even have a march.

Tryphena Absent

19:11 / 13.12.02

If my brother snickered I'd clip him round the ear, he's very in, I'm very out but I already know that and he doesn't need to be pathetic about things. Your sister clearly has trouble distinguishing what you're saying about things from who you've been discussing them with, be sisterly, stick your tongue out at her next time then ask what her problem is and get in to a fist fight.

Mourne Kransky

19:11 / 13.12.02

Sometimes I hear myself saying, "I know someone who..." and use a story I've read on the 'Lith to further an argument or give illustration. If this conversation continues, the interwebnet-referenced stuff will resurface and be explored. That's when it's awkward that this "someone who" turns out to be someone you've never actually met and you know them as The Apple-Picker or Lurid Archive.

I say virtual friends and feel not a zot of shame. I'm a nerdy loser baby, so why don't you kill me.

We should have a BarbePride parade, every June, to help change wrong perceptions and affirm our self esteem. dykesonbikes in the vanguard. Moderators stewarding, public spiritedly, and having no fun. Floats full of nerdy losers, cheering and waving, proselytising for the barbelite siblinghood. Policemen in leather trousers (just because that's usually the best thing about the other Pride). Quite looking forward to it now.

Mourne Kransky

19:16 / 13.12.02

I see toksik suggested BarbePride long since. d'oh! I'm a plagiarist, as well as the nerdy loser thing. But so damn PROUD! Come here and diss me and I'll spit in your eye. *blows shrill whistle*

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

20:12 / 13.12.02

I don't think a march'd work. A saunter, maybe.

w1rebaby

21:51 / 13.12.02

Does your sister also sneer if you say "I was reading a book about this"?

I tend to say "I was discussing this the other day" or similar, but just because I don't really distinguish discussing stuff on the net from discussing stuff face-to-face.

Really, it's not as if the net isn't mainstream nowadays anyway. Anyone with an office job can log on and talk bollocks, and frequently they do. Let alone home access. That's why the net is better now than it used to be.

Cat Chant

22:10 / 13.12.02

Do you also have more precise terminology to pin down which particular subsection of imaginary friends you might be referring to?

It's usually clear from the context: if I'm referring to them as talking about interesting stuff they're interwebnet imaginary friends, if I'm complaining about their refusal to comply with my plot demands (or, the case of my new fandom, refusal to stop using my head as a motel) they're imaginary imaginary friends. Maybe I should come up with a lexicon, though.

Baz Auckland

00:39 / 14.12.02

I've had the same reaction from a friend of mine.. but I've also convinced others to check out the site, so it sort of evens out.

Our Lady of The Two Towers

14:37 / 14.12.02

I don't think my sister even knows enough about the Internet to be able to sneer at me using it.

It's just people's resistance to what is new that they don't understand innit? If the net is much the same way now in ten or fifteen years time the residual geekiness around it will have gone and your sister will be giggling about 'direct mental downloading'.

grant

15:45 / 14.12.02

Geek pride.

Y'all are always referenced as either "my internet friends" or "my messageboard friends."

I'm with MJ12 on this one.

Hell, if my 60-something-year-old *mother* is surfing the web and swapping emails with her buddies, then I think your sister's got a lot of catching up to do.

Shortfatdyke

15:49 / 14.12.02

I have no problems with having had online conversations/discussions, although friends have reacted with horror when I tell them what my online name is. They seem to think it's been chosen for me, instead of by me.

An advantage is that mentioning lots of names - even strange sounding ones - makes me sound like I'm incredibly popular.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

22:27 / 14.12.02

Christ, I'm glad my family are a complete bunch of social retards.

"You've got... freindsss? On the internet? Have another helping of barkbread! With tree-grub jam!"

Goodness Gracious Meme

22:53 / 14.12.02

My family think it's utterly bizarre. But they just add it the list. I think they are still slightly concerned about the axe-murdering element, bless 'em.

I do find myself umming and erring in conversation over this is I'm very much a nerd-in-denial (except when it comes to football and music, when i'm loud and proud), but then loads of my RL friends are and have met my Barb. friends so it's becoming a irrelevance anyway...

Fist Fun

13:09 / 15.12.02

I wouldn't really spout off about about Barbelith or another messageboard to "outsiders". Partly because of the whole geek, sitting in front of computer shame, partly because I wouldn't want most people I know to stalk me online, see whne I am not working, etc...

bitchiekittie

17:57 / 16.12.02

and mordant makes her entrance, just long enough to make me spit laughter at my screen

bitchiekittie

18:01 / 16.12.02

and heres the thing, apple - no matter what you do in the course of your life, there will always be someone to wrinkle their nose or roll their eyes at your choices, large or small. dont allow others to make you second-guess your pleasures

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