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I'm not in the habit of asking for advice or sounding whiny for that matter, but I've got a perplexing problem which some of you might be able to help me with:
I've got several relatives who simply don't know how to mind their own business. Its really starting to get on my nerves now and setting "boundaries" with them isn't working. Fortunately, I live far enough away from them that they can't pester me in person, but its still a problem. By problem I mean a constant, never-ending barrage of criticism as to my "lifestyle". Since I don't lead a suburban, 9-5 existence with a house, wife, kids, and a "Career" (whatever the fuck that is in this day and age), then there must be something "wrong" with me.
I'm in my early 30's, single (at present), have a studio apartment, work at a locally-owned upscale restaraunt as a (fill in the blank, since I'm a jack-of-all trades there). I have a degree in communications, which means I can't find a job in my field and still have college loans to pay off. My family seems to think I'm leading some sort of wild bohemian existence (I WISH!) and am lacking in goals and ambition, have no direction, need to "settle down", etc.
I have repeatedly told them that I'm fine, I don't lack for anything, I'm happy (for the most part) for the time being, and that the career options that they think exist are simply not a reality out here; ie. there aren't any "entry-level" jobs as such. They seem to be stuck living in a 50's mindset or something. First of all, the recession hit this area pretty hard, and people are still being laid off in droves...at least I have regular work. Second, the kind of companies they're thinking of (white collar office jobs) use temp agencies for damn near everything. I've temped for years, it sucked, and I wanted out. (At least I have insurance where I'm at.) And third, my ambitions do not entail climbing a corporate ladder or desiring to make $60,000+ a year, which of course means I'm "weird". Writing and art (which I am interested in) are a "waste of time" in their view. Add to that the fact that I'm not married, and now they think I must be gay as well, not that that's any of their business either.
As I've said, setting boundaries with them doesn't work. Family gatherings are awkward and horrible, so I tend to avoid them. And they are constantly "prying" by interrogating the few relatives who I am on good terms with as to what I'm up to. It just never ends. I've changed my phone number as a result of their bs, but that only seems to egg them on.
Anyone else have similar experiences with family members and if so, how did you handle them?  |
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